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TOPIC: The Funny Thread

The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #1

Got a funny joke? Post it up and have a giggle


There was once a bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit: "Excuse me Mr. Rabbit, but do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" "No" replied the rabbit.. .. so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit..

:P



Cheers'
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #2

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #3

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,
Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check,
She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse
And tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,
She looks at the flabbergasted teller
And without missing a beat, she says:

'Well, that's great....that's just great....
Some asshole's got my pen!' :laugh:
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #4

Pussy cat song...
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Lean & Mean it in every corner of your life...
If it wasn't for us the fast lane would rust...
V4'S are music to the seat of my pants...
Get your V-Max ECU Re-Flashed to Full Power!
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #5

Whatever...

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"It's time to Ride - This is Vmax."
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #6

Funny, very funnnnnnnny.

Maximillion
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #7

Took me a bit to find this thread. Knew it was here somewhere.
*********************************************************************
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'what's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich..

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

OSTRICH.jpg
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #8

Two cannibals are riding their new 2009 Vmax'es down the highway and they notice a dead clown lying beside the road.

The two cannibals stop, get off their Vmax'es and check it out.

After a while, one cannibal looks at the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

:brushyourte


PS. Sorry if this offended any cannibals, clowns, or their families, especially Soki2me.

Disclaimer - No clowns were harmed in the making of this joke!

:rotflmao:
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Last Edit: 5 years 7 months ago by m25443.
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #9

hahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahha :rotflmao:
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Re:The Funny Thread 5 years 7 months ago #10

The other day my wife came home and asked me to take off her blouse, so I did.
Then she asked me to take off her stockings, so I did.
Then she asked me to take off her skirt...
Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore!
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